So I’m going to start off by saying that I am a free spirit, I don’t belive in conforming to societies expectation of how a women should carry themselves sexually. I try not to judge other women, period, and who you decide to give the yams to for damn sure isn’t any of my business. I had recently watched the Netflix series “She’s gotta have it” and I thought to myself “I see nothing wrong with it” she was honest with all 3 of them.The only thing that I didn’t agree with is that one of the men she dated were married. When I watched this show I was in a very unique point in my life. I had just come off of a 13 month sexual hiatus.
Rewind to 13 months prior ……
For those who don’t know, I arrived in Arizona in the summer of 2016, so I have only been here about a year and a half. I decided to move for numerous reasons,one of them was the fact that I felt like the number of people in my life were not adding any value. I had become used to creating these relationships (some more serious than others) and never officially cutting ties when it was time. They would would always have a way of connecting with me even though at some point they had shown me they were no longer worthy of that privilage. The down side to this is when you are… “In need” these people are a little easier to access than they should be. This causes us to make bad decisions, and in some cases re enter bad relationshsips.
My initial reaction to the change in was initially a pleasant one. I was starting a new job and meeting new people and for a couple of months it distracted me from the fact that something was missing… sex. For the first time in my life I was in a place where I really did not know anyone. I didn’t have anyone who was remotely close that I could call to come over and “chill” After having time to think about it, I realized that I may not be having sex for a while. At the time this was cool with me.
Acceptance (Or so I thought)
This will be good for me. I’ll give my P****y a vacation. I can focus on whats important and maybe develop a new hobby. Life should not revolve around sex. I laser focused on work and fitness. I bought a cook book and tried several healthy recipies. I started painting, I read books and watched maybe 70% Netflix’s content. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need sex to be happy or to feel confident.
I love me, I really do. I know my worth and ,I knew that the majority of these dudes were not worth comprimising my phenomenal PH. So I got to know myself better. (word of advise get rechargeable batteries)
The Break down
Eventually it came to a point where I was easily excited by any and everything. Movie scenes, songs, and pictues all sparked my inner thot and I wasn’t sure how to cope with these urges. I refrained from dating because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to turn down the D , should the right combination of colonge, lips and, waves came along ( And a strong working mans back… thats my weakness) . It was hard,because I definetly got approached, but I was determined to save my newly rejuvinated snatch for some one I cared about.
The back slide
After a while I decided to come out of hiding and went on a date with a guy I met in one of my facebook groups. He sparked my intrest because he was from New Yok and was missing that east coast swag that was non exsistant in my new surroundings. The date went great he was a gentlemen and we decided to take things back to his apartment. I made it clear from the beginning that there were no yams on the menu and he was cool with it.
We got to his apartment and eneded up talking and watching Netflix for hours. It became really late and he suggested that I sleepover and even though I didn’t know this man from a ham sandwhich I agreed. (I don’t recomend this, because you could end up on the first 48) He gave me a pair of his sweat pants and a T shirt and we continued to enjoy each others company. At some point we began to kiss and that’s when it happened. I could feel the heat taking over me like in the movies when someone is turning a ware wolf, I was 2 seconds away from howling at the damn moon. This is what vybz kartel was meant when he decribed the “fever” All my supressed feelings were flowing and all I could think of was riding into the sunset on dude.
At some point I pulled myself together I talked myself down of the sexual ledge and was able to make it through the night with my purity. Unfortunately it was short lived because I ended up giving up the yams about 3-5 business days later, to a better klnown prospect. The good news is I didn’t have a random one night stand with some guy just because he had a pair of Tims ,liked Harry Potter, and knew what WAWA was . Moral of the story : You’re ready when your ready.